13 March 2014

Chemotherapy Again!

I have completed my first round of chemotherapy after a one year 10 month break.  I found it hard to return to it.  In 2013 most of my year I lived as though no cancer existed.  Now it is back with a vengeance.  I confess to feeling very sorry for myself.  My head is consumed with feeling unwell, uneasy and uncomfortable.

Monday morning Barbara and I walked to the hospital and talked with Dr Lisa Horvath, my oncologist.  I then had a blood test, which delayed the start of the chemotherapy from 9.30 to 12.30.  We went to the café until 10.30 but I became uncomfortable sitting upright in the waiting room.  At noon I approached reception and was taken to a bed.  It was a relief to lie down.

The chemotherapy now takes place on the first floor of the Chris O’Brien Lifehouse building, a magnificent new state of the art building.  However, I think the new procedures are inferior and unfriendly compared with the old approach.  You check in with one of the clerks.  Previously you did this but you also went and let the nurses know you had arrived.  You cannot do this now as there is an electronic door barring the way.  You are given no indication as to when you will be attended to – very annoying.

You can ask the clerk when you will be attended to.  The clerk then goes through the electronically locked doors and comes back with an impersonal answer.  And it is a very noisy process!  We are lined up on seats in a waiting are watching television.  When the clerk goes to find out when you will be seen, doors slam!  First, the door to the clerks’ area slams ‘bang’ and then the electronic door slams ‘bang’ on entry and ‘bang’ again on return.  Lastly, the door to the clerks area ‘bangs’ again.  Noise, noise, noise, which is burdensome when you feel unwell.

It was wonderful to be in the bed in a quiet area.  The nurse looked after me well and Barbara and I arrived home around 3.30 pm.  I returned home with the two-day bottle chemotherapy inserted.
During the two days I felt some nausea and took tablets to relieve it.  Indeed, I am taking more tablets to make me feel comfortable than I ever have in my life.  I am taking one or two Endones a day.  It is not something I like doing but I am finding it necessary.

Wednesday, middle of the day, I walked to the Lifehouse by myself to have the finished chemo bottle removed.  I had to wait over an hour, put up with banging doors again and then had a trainee remove the bottle under supervision.  Again I felt sorry for myself.  I found it hard to walk home and took another anti nausea tablet, which provided some relief.

Late afternoon, I ran into unexpected trouble with my colostomy bag for the first time and felt very angry and upset.  Barbara helped this poor, self-pitying, bleating man.  I need to shift how I feel about things.  Back in 2011 I felt more up but this time I have been beaten down by the debilitation that has taken place before starting the chemotherapy.

Today, Thursday March 13 I have been working quite a bit on the computer, mainly handling BezCan Project matters.  I am glad to have this outward focus where my concentration is on assisting in the education of children in two primary schools in Kamuli, Uganda.  I have felt queasy still, which is like back in 2011 when I felt queasiest on the day after the chemo.  Barbara and I went out for lunch and I had a nap when we returned.


My life is now in the hands of the chemotherapy effectiveness.  The liver is not working properly.  Our hope is that the chemo reduces the cancer in the liver and enables it to operate properly again.  If this occurs, then, statistically, I could have up to three more years of life.  What I want is quality of life like I had in 2012 and 2013.  I do not want to simply exist day to day.  So, I am hoping things will be significantly improved within a few months.

1 comment:

  1. David, very sorry to hear you are back on the Chemo. I was just talking to some of our employees about a another matter and they asked if I'd seen your blog. I don't pretend to know what you are going through but I have heard some wonderful turnaround cancer stories of late and sincerely hope that you too become one of those stories. Best wishes from myself and the Anitua Group management team.

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