Early start
I was up early, Monday 25 July so that I arrived at the hospital at 7.30 am for my blood test. They now open at this time. The earlier I arrive, the sooner my blood test is processed and I am approved for chemo; the sooner the chemo is prepared and I can begin the treatment. Last time, it started late around 1 pm and I did not get home till after 6 pm. This time, treatment started at about 11 am and I was home not long after 4 pm.
Gary, a fellow patient
Sitting in the waiting room, awaiting my appointment with Dr Lisa, a patient sitting near me introduced himself. Gary was amazingly positive and full of praise for the Sydney Cancer Centre. We both think very highly of it. Gary has a tumour in his brain that is being treated by chemo and radiation, which has caused a loss of hearing. He was sitting on my right, my deaf ear. His deaf ear is his left. Thus we were on the wrong side of each other. I think it would have been amusing watching us swivelling our heads so as to hear each other!
Gary has had some severe reactions to his chemo, including a heavily swollen right hand that had had a large and painful needle inserted the previous Thursday on a needed overnight stay in hospital. Another adverse reaction to chemo has been severe mouth ulcers. He struggled to remove his wallet from his pocket with his left hand to show me a picture of his four adult daughters. He cannot eat but instead has a can of powdered food that is mixed with water and inserted in a mechanism attached direct to his stomach. This and other difficulties he faces with much optimism, confident he is receiving the best treatment and determined to continue the chemo, because of the good it is doing.
I felt humbled as I am having so little adverse reaction. Gary was a marvellous inspiration.
Appointment with Dr Lisa
Dr Lisa Horvath gave me the results of the CT scan I had back on Friday 15 July. She was very pleased with a further reduction of 9%, which means there has been a reduction of about 37% over the first four months. I was hoping for another 30% and was disappointed. Dr Lisa said that often further reduction does not occur after the first couple of months. She is thrilled with my blood results and said that I can be very happy with how things are going.
She also checked up on my reactions to the chemo. I am aware that she is asking more about this. It is normal that adverse reactions accumulate. I mentioned a new one that had occurred (and continues) in the previous couple of weeks. I get an electric current like feeling in the arches of both feet. It feels warm and fuzzy. Lisa mentioned that chemo affects the nerves and this is just another example of that. Of my side effects, the one I am experiencing more is some blood from blowing my nose in the morning. This is greater in colder weather and so was more noticeable in South Australia the week before. Lisa seemed particularly concerned about the feelings in my fingers and toes. However, it remains that my fingers tingle only in cold weather or cold water and there is no ongoing numbness. Thus, at this stage I am confident I will be able to have at least 12 treatments and am hoping that I can go on for 16.
Lisa mentioned that the maintenance chemo will consist of tablets and a visit to the hospital once every three weeks. Ugh! I was hoping for freedom from regular hospital visits. She did say that we can take longer holidays of two months or so. That is good.
Sobering news
So, the appointment was a sobering experience. I realised that the cancer would not be removed by the chemo, only reduced. I will be living with the cancer, permanently. I had been hoping for it to be gone! This will be a miracle if it occurs. So, I felt a bit down when telling Barbara when she arrived at the hospital just after my appointment. We had coffee together in one of the cafés at the hospital to discuss what Lisa had said.
Ingrid
Ingrid is a fellow bowel and liver cancer patient I had talked with a few chemo rounds ago. She turned up in the afternoon and we chatted. She, too, is positive and looking to live well. I told her about our planned mid September four day flying holiday from Bankstown airport to and over Lake Eyre on Heron Airlines Lake Eyre tours. She thought she might do it with one of her daughters.
Offloading
So, I was feeling a little blue when I went home and appreciated being able to talk about it.
Change of attitude
I awoke Tuesday morning and thought ‘this is the way it is and I want to live positively’. So, I decided I did not want to feel queasy. Amazingly, on the Wednesday and Thursday (third day of chemo and day after) I did not feel queasy! In fact I have had little queasiness since and am hoping and aiming for this to continue.
It is amazing what the mind can do. I returned to the John Tully prayer about minimising the bad effects and maximising the good effects. The minimising of the bad effects is certainly being achieved. I want the maximising of the good effects to increase. Thus I am hoping and aiming for significantly more reduction in the cancer levels in the lymph nodes and liver by the next CT scan.
Activities
Barbara and I have continued with being with others. On the Tuesday we enjoyed morning tea at Patricia and Roger’s place – very comfortable to sit in their warm living area overlooking their lovely backyard, indulging in deep conversation. Tuesday afternoon Katharine and I continued with our cryptic crossword training. Thursday I enjoyed lunch with Stephanie, who used to work at Ernst & Young. We have kept in touch and Stephanie has technically reviewed parts of my book for the last three editions. Thursday night I went to Ben’s for dinner and a game of Scrabble. Friday was another cryptic crossword training session with Katharine.
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